One of the most important lessons I wish I had learned earlier in life—and one I’m intentionally passing on to my children—is this: The world is big, and there are so many people out there who will love you, even when others don’t.

When I was younger, I didn’t fully grasp just how vast the world is—or how rich and life-giving true human connection can be. I often took rejection to heart, believing that if someone didn’t like me, it meant there was something fundamentally wrong with me. And to be honest, I still wrestle with that sometimes. But I’m growing—not in the sense that I believe I’m flawless, but in understanding what real friendship truly is. Authentic friendship isn’t about someone thinking I am perfect and never challenging me, but it’s about grace, growth, and mutual love. Scriptures like “iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17) and “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6) have taught me that true friends don’t gossip about you, reject you, or judge you for your flaws. Instead, they walk alongside you, challenge you in love, and help you become the best version of yourself—while loving you through every step of the journey.

When my son Dillon was very young, he came running to me one day, upset because a friend told him, “You’re not my friend anymore.” The mother in me wanted to jump in and help them make up. But I knew that wouldn’t prepare him for the real world, where rejection is inevitable. So instead, I knelt down, looked him in the eye, and gently said, “You know, there are billions of people in the world. Go find a new friend.” His tears dried instantly, his eyes lit up, and he said, “Yeah!” Then he ran off to play with another group of kids. Not long after, the same boy came back, apologized, and never again used friendship as a bargaining chip. I was trying to teach him to liberate himself from something that his momma was still struggling with.

That moment taught me as much as it taught Dillon—and it reminded me of a lesson I first learned from Damon in our early years of marriage. Whenever I felt left out or hurt because I wasn’t included in something, Damon (in his straightforward way—if you know, you know) would say, “Babe, why would you want to be somewhere you’re not wanted? Focus on being where you are wanted.”

That truth has stayed with me. In life, there will always be people who choose not to like you, no matter what you do. Some may even try to influence others to see you the same way. Don’t waste your energy trying to win them over. You have to free yourself from this. I know it’s not easy, but when you pour all your energy into one-sided friendships—those that lack genuine, reciprocal sisterhood—you may be missing the blessing of meaningful connections that are already right in front of you (Shedricka M. McCrary I keep thinking of how after almost 18 years you and I suddenly realized we were best friends! LOL!!!). Let go, and entrust those relationships to God. He calls us to focus on the things that are true, honest, just, pure, and lovely (Philippians 4:8). Transforming hearts is His work, not yours. Your role is to be open to the love and sisterhood He’s already placed in your path.

My sister, go find your people. The ones who will love you deeply, stand by you through highs and lows, and refuse to let gossip or misunderstanding define their view of you. These are the people who will love you enough to speak truth to you when you’re wrong, and hold you with grace as you grow. I didn’t know relationships like that were possible when I was younger—but they are. They may take time to find, but they’re worth seeking out.

I pray my children grow up understanding this: chasing the approval of those who’ve already decided against you only distracts you from the joy of being loved by those who truly see you. Invest your time and energy in the friendships that nourish your soul.