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More and MORE Random thoughts on 10 years of Marriage

me and momAnd another thing I have learned in 10 years of marriage is that after many years of trial and error, I have discovered that when I sleep until my husband and kids wake up, my life that day is utter chaos and I am very unproductive. My whole life, my mom would get up around 4 am. When my father, brother and I got up, she was already dressed, had made breakfast, was watering flowers or doing something constructive and usually SINGING! I mean who sings in the wee hours of the morning? When I got married, honestly I was determined to chose my own path for how my life flowed. I really wanted to figure out my life (I am horribly stubborn that way). So, me (who LOVES sleep) decided to wake up when my body told me to wake up and I would leisurely get up, my family would get up either at the same time or soon after. I would have my time with God (usually about a few minutes because the distractions were crazy by this point), and get my day going. The thing is I would find myself so frazzled, trying to figure my life out for the day! One day my mom called me and asked me “Nika, what time have you been getting up?” I told her and she was like, “Nika, there is no way you as a wife and mother can be productive by sleeping in! It just does not work! And how are you having a meaningful time with God who wants to guide your every step, by waking up while kids are running around and your husband is trying to get ready for work???” Oh I told her off! I told her to not judge me, to not try to make my life like hers because she was a stay at home mom and did not have to work WHILE caring for a family. She of course could get to bed early or even take a nap during the day when she was tired! She got quiet and said, “Ok Nika, I know you think I do not understand because our lives are different, but God can give you strength if you get with him early…he will give you wisdom and strength….” Years went on, and I continued in this pattern of trying to get as much sleep as I could because I was just so exhausted by trying to juggle life. But things did not get better. I continued to feel like all day, I was spending my time trying to “catch up” to things. I was living off the top of my head. My house, laundry, were disorderly. I was putting out fires. I was just trying to make it. Then some time after I had my youngest son, I reflected on the conversation I had with my mom a few years before and decided to just TRY what my mom was suggesting (dang I hate it when she is right). (DISCLAIMER: This NOT easy to do and if you are NOT doing this, I am not judging you at all, because it is a daily battle for me and many times I still fail at it.) Anyway, I started to get up between 4 am and 5 am…the goal is to just get up before 5 am! I am ALWAYS angry when I do. I am ALWAYS in this battle to stay in bed. I ALWAYS hear a voice telling me to just lay down for a little while longer, but in the times I am successful I jump out of bed (I don’t leisurely get out of bed, because if I think about it too long, I talk myself out of getting up), turn on some praise and worship on my phone, hop in the shower (my mom loves to get up early, so she did not need a shower…LOL!), and slowly I wake up. Still glancing at my bed with longing, I head to my prayer closet to talk to God. And let me tell you! Every single time I do this…EVERY SINGLE TIME, the Spirit gives me peace, wisdom and direction. Every time. By the time my family gets up, I have showered, clothed myself and been with the Lord who has already helped me sort through my schedule for the day and how to problem solve possible issues that may rise in that day. Also, because I get up so early, a lot of what I would do at night AFTER work, I did before I went to work, so when I get home, I literally chill for the evening and can get to bed early. There is something magical, almost about the 4 am hour and most of these 10 years have been spent trying to master the art of getting up this early. I’m not perfectly there yet, but I continue to press until this practice becomes a habit. It has been key to my ability to juggle everything and stay sane. Even if you are not a Christian or religious, I do believe this would work for any wife and/or mother. Jada Pinkett talks about getting up early just to THINK and have time to herself. I am a firm believer that we need to get up earlier than the world does…it is our Superpower. It just sort of puts you ahead of the game, you know? (and I don’t sing that early as my mom did, even though the praise music is on, eventually I will sway to the music, but I still have a bit of an attitude..lol!)

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