When people would tell me “Oh when you stop looking for a mate, he will come!” I used to get so depressed because I could not stop looking, hoping, praying for a mate! Some are gonna read this and talk about how desperate I was, and I honestly don’t give a flying fig because I’ve been married for going on 10 years, with three kids and am having such a blessed time, I want to encourage my single sisters to forget all those who give that bad advice and keep hoping!
There are 2 verses that encouraged me that it was perfectly ok to long for this and to keep begging God for this. One of the verses is Luke 18:1-8:
18 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2 He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. 3 And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’
4 “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”
6 And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”
This story right here told by JESUS was God’s way of telling me to keep hoping in Him to fulfill this desire. I learned from this that it is ok to run to our Lord to give us the desires of our hearts as much as we want. It is NOT a sin to do that. When we keep the pain balled up inside or try to kill our desire for love (which God actually gave to us at creation), we fail to realize another side of God. He is our father, and as a child can run to their father to give them what they need and desire, we can go to God for a mate.
Another verse that encouraged me as I waited on the Lord for a mate was the story of Hannah found in Samuel 1:1-20:
Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. 8 Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”
9 Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on his chair by the doorpost of the Lord’s house. 10 In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. 11 And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”
12 As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.”
15 “Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. 16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.”
17 Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.”
18 She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.
19 Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the Lord and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. 20 So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel,[b] saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.”
Hannah too, even though she had an amazing husband and appeared to be wealthy, desired a child. She literally could not eat she wanted a child so bad. So she went to God over and over and over…weeping and weeping and weeping, until God granted the desire of her heart.
What these 2 ladies did NOT do is go and try to get it for themselves. They just kept petitioning the one who could grant their desire and for that, I feel God blessed them. They did not settle. They did not try to fix it themselves. They waited on God, but earnestly prayed over and over, crying out to him to bless them and he did. During my singleness, I committed to not settling, to not trying to satisfy this desire for myself, but instead I prayed over and over and over, petitioning the almighty God to bless me and he did. He will do the same for anyone who does this. He will do this for you.