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Speak to My Troubled Heart

I think one of the most heart breaking things about the church is its failure to minister to singles in a way that gives them encouragement and hope.  When I was single, if I even gave a hint of discontent, I was quickly given a lecture by married women on how I need to be patient…that God won’t give me a mate if I keep looking for one…I should be content in my singleness. It was so frustrating, because I literally could NOT stop desiring a mate.  I read scriptures, listened to praise and worship music, prayed, fasted, went to conferences and workshops….I tried everything to get rid of this desire for a husband and it never ever worked.  The night before I met Damon, I was kneeling down beside my bed literally crying, sobbing for a husband.  My parents were on either side of me, rubbing my back and praying with me.  I could not understand why God would not bless me in this way? I’d kept myself, tried to walk in obedience to his Word, and yet I continued to remain alone.

Years before I met Damon, I had come to another place of despair.  I was at a destination wedding in the Bahamas and maybe it was the romantic beauty of the island that got to me, but my heart was about to break in pieces as I yearned to find “the one.”  Nothing or no one could console me.  I went back to my hotel room and laid across the bed and cried myself to sleep.  As I drifted to sleep, I prayed for God to comfort my heart somehow.  As I slept my dreams were filled with this song, “Speak to My Troubled Heart.”  I woke up, grabbed my notebook and voice recorder and wrote the song within minutes.  I called my producer and sang it to him over the phone and he composed the music right there.  After that moment I found comfort.  No, I did not meet some great guy on the beach, but I felt like my Lord was with me, and for that moment it was enough.

animal-2028156_640Nika

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